:: an oldie for my ladies ::

lol... now here's a flashback i think some of you would like to hear! ** happy friday **

i will survive - gloria gaynor
First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to get along
and so you're back
from outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive (hey hey)

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that chained up little girl
who fell in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now I'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive (oh)

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive
I will survive...!

:: 4:26 PM [+] ::

---

:: when it rains, it pours ::

lol...now this is a common phrase i didn't think i'd find myself readily saying more and more often, but so far it's held true. people often ask me if i think i "missed out" by staying in a four year relationship. in truth, i can't really say for sure. i only know what i know, so i can't accurately speculate on the "what if's" and "maybes." i don't regret one second of it, nor do i intend to. i've made my decisions, so i can only go forward from here. if you live your life dwelling on the past, you miss what's going on right now. looking back doesn't really do me any good, so here's to a lifetime of tomorrows. i'm very excited!

:: 1:44 PM [+] ::

---

:: lunching with my ladies (and christian...*giggle*) ::

aaah.. that was JUST what i needed today. lunching with my ladies over seafood & mai tais. thanks, mel. again, you always know what's best for me.

:: 1:43 PM [+] ::

---

:: what kind of candy are YOU? ::


discover what candy you are @ quiz me

:: 8:29 AM [+] ::

:: on love ::

this one's for my ladies
it's long as hell...brace yourself!

:: 4:37 PM [+] ::

---

:: aw, sooky sooky! server's back up! ::

it was actually back up last night, but i had all of trisha's pictures on my computer at work. i have to find a program that writes code templates so i can just upload them all at once. i'm getting a little tired of all the hard coding. how primitive! lol.

Trisha's Crobar Photo Page
:: updated 2/26/04 ::

:: 4:17 PM [+] ::

---

:: chicago's hottest bartender? ::

pwahahahahahaha! kimmy, i've really got to hand it to you. thanks for even thinking of little ol me! (lol...too bad i don't listen to B96)

:: 11:24 AM [+] ::

---

:: memories of the past ::

last night dre came by to pick up some stuff that he had forgotten. it was surreal, in a way, to watch him walking around looking to see how things have changed, if at all. as i watched, i could see the look on his face, and it dawned on me that i had spent four years of my life with this person. yet it seemed like a lifetime ago. i couldn't really remember my life with this person. it all seemed like just a faded memory. how strange.

:: 8:17 AM [+] ::

:: chariya the credit card thief? ::

hahaha! so due to my frantic last minute hotel search the other day, poor melanie got a phone call from the fraud protection department of her bank, notifying her that there were a bunch of cancelled charges to her card. at first when she called, i was worried that her card had gotten charged. WHEW! lol. girl, you should know that credit cards and i are a dangerous combo! lol....love you, girl!

:: 4:19 PM [+] ::

---

:: ZZZZZ ZZZZ zzz zzzz .... .. . ::

holy bored to death! my site's server is down, so i can't even upload trisha's pictures from the last TWO weeks. *grumble*grumble*

on a rather funny note, i had my employee evaluation last week. i was a little nervous when i sat down in my boss' office, but turns out i fret for nothing. the evaluation raved about how i'm always early and rarely ever take a day off, and especially how i always complete assignments so fast...lol...it's easy because it's all the work i have to do, and that only takes an hour TOPS. lol...ah well. at least it was a good evaluation.

:: 2:52 PM [+] ::

---

:: me!?!?!?! in a rap video?!?!?! ::

haha... RIGHT? i got an email with a little more information than i had starting out, but still pretty vague. however, it IS a paying gig. i probably won't be able to do it, though, because it's next week and may take more than a day, and since nobody's going to be in the office next week, i HAVE to be here. so if it doesn't pan out, thanks for asking and getting the info for me!

:: 2:49 PM [+] ::

---

:: that thing you do ::

*sigh* i LOVE this movie!

"I have wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on you--kisses I thought were special because of your smile and all your color and life. I used to think that was the real you when you smiled. But now I know you don't mean any of it...Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight" - Liv Tyler

:: 1:13 PM [+] ::

---

:: random quotes ::

stole this off mel...

"One night the moon said to me "If he makes you cry why don't you just leave him?" I looked at the moon and said "Moon would you ever leave your sky?""

:: 12:19 PM [+] ::

---

:: unconscious mutterings ::

this week

1. Angel:: guardian
2. Birth:: baby
3. Logic:: common sense
4. Stars:: wishes
5. Nursery:: babies, plants
6. View:: landscape
7. Hart:: Sabrina the Teenage Witch
8. Creation:: the Bible
9. End:: completion
10. Fortune:: wealth

:: 10:45 AM [+] ::

---

:: hooked on a workout? ::

sheesh! so i decided to make up for not being able to work out on sunday, so for some insane reason i just happened to wake up at around 5:30. so what did i decide to do? get the fuck up and work out! sheesh! now i'm not going to become one of "those" people, but it felt good to feel like i got something done SO bright and early in the morning. damn you, prima, those protein shakes are yummy! *sigh* so now i'm at work WAY early, nothing to do. lol...great start for hump day.

:: 8:19 AM [+] ::

:: lyrics in my head ::

now i usually refer to this group as "hoobaSTINKS", but i find that i really like this song. go figure...lol.

"the reason" - hoobastank
I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

:: 4:28 PM [+] ::

---

:: THANK YOU, FRIENDS ::

i just want to say thank you. thank you for your kind words, thank you for the tear jerking eloquent emails, the sweet text messages, EVERYTHING. it's times like these when you really find out who your friends are. you've opened your hearts to me without hesitation, you've offered more help than i ever expected. i cherish your friendship dearly, as good friends are very rare and hard to find nowadays. you've all been there for me all along...through all the bullshit, through all my ranting, through the good times and bad. we've got history, you and i, and i'll take those memories and keep them close to my heart always. thank you for being there when i needed you most. i only hope that when you need a kind word, a helping hand, anything i have in my power to offer to you, that i can do so x10.

:: 3:32 PM [+] ::

---

:: say hello to my little blog ::

now i KNOW some of you are going to be upset about this new blog. but hey...it's a new start, right? the events over the last few months have taught me that perhaps baring my soul over the internet is probably not the best idea i've ever had. some things are better left unsaid. so with that i've started a new journal. now as soon as blogger.com finishes with the blog*spot upgrade, i can get rid of that nasty banner up top!

:: 2:59 PM [+] ::

---

:: miami, miami, miami! ::

whew! so what could have been a sticky situation miraculously turned out for the better, i think. whoo whooo! miami!!!

:: 1:28 PM [+] ::